Day 24 - Letter to my parents
This one could get rough.
It takes a long time to realize that your parents are just people too. They're not infallible. They don't have all the answers, even though as children, we expect they know everything. As much as we can try to blame them for the way we are, we have to recognize that they are the way they are because some one shaped them that way too.
To my mom, I'm glad we're closer now that we've ever been. I've never thought of you as that day to day mom that made dinner and kept the home running smoothly. You're not that kind of woman. When things fall apart, you are the one I will turn to. You are the crisis queen. You listen and don't judge and help put things into perspective. We had some very rough years when I was younger, but I've come to really understand why and in reality, those things shaped me into becoming the stronger than I think I am woman that I am today. I think we've clashed because we were simply too similar for our own good, but I'd rather be more like you than anyone else because you are a rock, and you can handle (and do handle) everything that life throws your way. I am proud of you for accepting the challenge to quit smoking...these grandkids of yours need you around for many more years. It will be more difficult than you know for me to leave here if that time comes, because I almost take for granted you being so close by. I'll never be able to thank you enough for the support you've given me when I needed it most.
To my father, I used to be daddy's little girl. Then all of that changed. Again, now that I am older I can see why it did but it doesn't help the way I feel about you now. Although at peace with how I feel, I'll never be close to you again. You pushed yourself away from my sister and I and turned your back on us when we could have used you the most. I thought when Braeden was born, that you might have changed but instead you've crawled back inside yourself and refuse to listen to any of us that try to help you. You're going to kill yourself, and I'm tired of preaching this over and over again to you. I've resigned myself to just waiting now. And that's sad, because you have so much to live for. You have kids that are still young enough for you to make a difference. You have beautiful grandchildren, and even they grow tired of the way you are now. It's your life, so none of us can change the way you feel but I also don't have to pretend it's fine. You are a grown man, and you should have figured out by now how to take care of yourself instead of relying on yor parents to still take care of you, or on us to run your errands for you. Yes, you still are my father, but you've not been my dad since I was 12 years old.
Sorry, no picture of my dad because I don't really have any. He's not the type to pose for a picture and I'm not sure I want to remember him this way anyway.
That's probably enough...
It takes a long time to realize that your parents are just people too. They're not infallible. They don't have all the answers, even though as children, we expect they know everything. As much as we can try to blame them for the way we are, we have to recognize that they are the way they are because some one shaped them that way too.
To my mom, I'm glad we're closer now that we've ever been. I've never thought of you as that day to day mom that made dinner and kept the home running smoothly. You're not that kind of woman. When things fall apart, you are the one I will turn to. You are the crisis queen. You listen and don't judge and help put things into perspective. We had some very rough years when I was younger, but I've come to really understand why and in reality, those things shaped me into becoming the stronger than I think I am woman that I am today. I think we've clashed because we were simply too similar for our own good, but I'd rather be more like you than anyone else because you are a rock, and you can handle (and do handle) everything that life throws your way. I am proud of you for accepting the challenge to quit smoking...these grandkids of yours need you around for many more years. It will be more difficult than you know for me to leave here if that time comes, because I almost take for granted you being so close by. I'll never be able to thank you enough for the support you've given me when I needed it most.
To my father, I used to be daddy's little girl. Then all of that changed. Again, now that I am older I can see why it did but it doesn't help the way I feel about you now. Although at peace with how I feel, I'll never be close to you again. You pushed yourself away from my sister and I and turned your back on us when we could have used you the most. I thought when Braeden was born, that you might have changed but instead you've crawled back inside yourself and refuse to listen to any of us that try to help you. You're going to kill yourself, and I'm tired of preaching this over and over again to you. I've resigned myself to just waiting now. And that's sad, because you have so much to live for. You have kids that are still young enough for you to make a difference. You have beautiful grandchildren, and even they grow tired of the way you are now. It's your life, so none of us can change the way you feel but I also don't have to pretend it's fine. You are a grown man, and you should have figured out by now how to take care of yourself instead of relying on yor parents to still take care of you, or on us to run your errands for you. Yes, you still are my father, but you've not been my dad since I was 12 years old.
Sorry, no picture of my dad because I don't really have any. He's not the type to pose for a picture and I'm not sure I want to remember him this way anyway.
That's probably enough...
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