Day 12 - The person you hate the most/caused you a lot of pain
I guess I knew one day I'd have to write about this. I still won't go into specifics so I can't be accused of anything.
I don't hate you. Not anymore. But you have caused me more pain and heartache than I ever deserved. No matter how bad things were, I never deserved the way you treated me. I spent almost 8 years trying to make something that was broken from the beginning better. I didn't want to give up, and it nearly destroyed me in the process.
You made me become some one I didn't like. I wasn't Krista any longer. I was bitter, mistrustful, paranoid, jealous, and an emotional mess. I cried every day. I couldn't talk to you. Every conversation would turn into a screaming match or inconsolable tears. And eventually, after enough turmoil, I realized I had enough and decided I would no longer let you control my emotions.
I deserved better than what I got with you. I deserved a better ending to our relationship. I deserved a true partner in life, not one that just took what they wanted and never gave anything back. I gave you everything - understanding, forgiveness, love, money, whatever I could to make you happy. But we were wrong for each other. And we should have stopped from the very start.
The only good that ever came from us was that little boy. I thank God for him every day. And it's sad that you don't know him any longer. Because the only pain you still cause me is when I hurt for my son when he talks about missing his big bubby, since we no longer see him now.
But because of all that I went through with you, I was able to turn it all around. I've created a life for myself that is better than I ever dreamed of with you. I know now what I deserve. And I have it.
I don't hate you. Not anymore. But you have caused me more pain and heartache than I ever deserved. No matter how bad things were, I never deserved the way you treated me. I spent almost 8 years trying to make something that was broken from the beginning better. I didn't want to give up, and it nearly destroyed me in the process.
You made me become some one I didn't like. I wasn't Krista any longer. I was bitter, mistrustful, paranoid, jealous, and an emotional mess. I cried every day. I couldn't talk to you. Every conversation would turn into a screaming match or inconsolable tears. And eventually, after enough turmoil, I realized I had enough and decided I would no longer let you control my emotions.
I deserved better than what I got with you. I deserved a better ending to our relationship. I deserved a true partner in life, not one that just took what they wanted and never gave anything back. I gave you everything - understanding, forgiveness, love, money, whatever I could to make you happy. But we were wrong for each other. And we should have stopped from the very start.
The only good that ever came from us was that little boy. I thank God for him every day. And it's sad that you don't know him any longer. Because the only pain you still cause me is when I hurt for my son when he talks about missing his big bubby, since we no longer see him now.
But because of all that I went through with you, I was able to turn it all around. I've created a life for myself that is better than I ever dreamed of with you. I know now what I deserve. And I have it.
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