Finding Krista

My Mamaw, whom I see every single day, does prayers with the boy and me every night before his bedtime.  If I don't call by a certain time, she calls us.   Some nights, this is a huge hassle.  If the boy isn't feeling well and falls asleep early before we can call, then she gets upset with me.  And sometimes I'm just in the middle of doing dishes, or some other chore and I end up not finishing what I'm doing.  But every night, the boy puts the phone on speaker and I hear their prayers. Over the years, the prayers have evolved.  They started out pretty basic.  Then, as we added to the family, more people were included in the "God Bless" section.  Close friends were added to the rotation.  Geoff and his family are part of the evening prayers now as well.  People she has never met - like his son and brothers, all included. Some nights, this is when she chooses to break news to me about some illness with a far away family member.  I...

Last one in this challenge - yay!!!  I'll switch to other topics and whatnot after this, but I wanted to finish what was started and get on with a clean slate after! So - Dear Krista, Stop looking and only finding the faults.  You have curves.  You have gorgeous hair.  You have strong legs even if they aren't sticks.  You can do so much more than you used to, so much more than you thought you could. Stop worrying about the past.  It's done with.  Stop worrying about the future (I know, I know - this won't happen, but I can at least try).  You deserve happiness and peace.  Don't doubt that you've earned it. Keep on working towards finding your passion.  You wanted to make more time for you this year and you're doing a good job.  Stop worrying that this makes you selfish.  You're still young(ish) - you can be a little entitled. You do the best you can.  You keep working on you - the whole you, not just the fragment...

Dear You, I don't think I'm afraid to tell you anything.  I just know you won't like some of the things I would tell you.  Like, how it's more difficult to keep going on this way.  That I wish I could finally find that happy in between space that would please everyone.  I know I'm afraid of doing something and losing everything all over again.  I'm afraid of not being near everyone.  I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again (but who isn't?). I'm not afraid of telling you these things.  I think I'm more afraid of your reaction when I finally choose.

Gosh - I feel like the people who've made the biggest impact for me already have letters written to them throughout this challenge.   Let me go with this... To my favorite twins in this entire earth.  My late teens and early twenties would have been boring beyond belief without the two of you.  I adore you equally. You taught me how to be co-workers with your friends, which is a challenge in and of itself).  You taught me not to take myself too seriously as you dragged me on adventure after adventure of things I was clearly not qualified to do.  You showed me that I wasn't alone in what I was dealing with parental wise.    We spent hours with each other at work, outside of work, in school, out of school - all until one of you had to go and fall in love with someone who lived up north (can I blame you?  New England folks are hot!)  Then the other decided to follow along and abandon me too. Being your friend has been a gift.  Every...

I'm thinking, I'm thinking... Why is no one standing out? I've met plenty of friendly people.  But I don't always recall names.  ( I know, some of you are saying - Krista doesn't remember something?  This doesn't seem right). This one is lame.  So I'm skipping it.  

Dear Boy, I'm a bad mommy because I know we've made pinky promises to each other but I can't remember the last one! (This blog entry is not indicative of my mothering abilities.  I just can't remember specifics!!)

Dear You, I'm not about to bust out with a name on this one because it's still fresh, but I want you to know that I'm always thinking of you.  I know it's unfair.  I know it isn't right, but I've always been a believer in that things happen for a reason.  (Yes, cliche but I believe it).   You'll get through this.  You've fought long and hard your entire life.  You'll continue to fight.  But I believe in you.  And you will be okay. Promise.