Day 01 - Your best friend

You'd think this would be easy to write. Except it isn't.

I miss you. We don't talk very much anymore. We both went down separate paths in life. You knew what you wanted, kept your eye on the goal and got the hell out of dodge. And I was scared. I thought I knew what I wanted, but in the end I floundered for awhile, making mistakes and wasting years I never should have. And there were times I was jealous as hell. I loved you, I was proud of you for getting out and doing your thing, but I wished I had the strength to do the same.

We laughed and had such amazing times growing up. I still think of Friday nights as pizza nights. And when we get arroz con pollo at work from our process server in Miami, all I can do is wish it was your mom's. When I made pancakes for the first time earlier this year, I thought of you the entire time - laughing to myself about the "Bisquick-just add water" incident in your parents kitchen.

When the holidays come around, I miss going to the hospital and nursing homes and singing carols with you. I told someone about the "Mamacita, Donde Esta Santa Claus" song that we found in your piano book and how you learned to play it just so we could sing it to be funny. Remember the times we rode in the back of your dad's truck, freezing to death but imagining out loud how we were really at the beach on a hot day? I rarely sing anymore. But every time I do, I think of us singing together for chorus and at the little league games, and just for fun around at your house. I remember making up song lyrics about people we knew while you played classical music behind it.

I was terrified of growing up and you couldn't wait. I'm happy that you've found a good life, and I hurt for you for the things I know you are missing out on. And I hurt because I know we've grown apart as people do. But I miss you. You're my oldest friend in the world and the best one I ever had.