Day 03 - To my parents

It's been almost a year since I started semi-regularly blogging and I did a letter to my parents at that time, however it's been a very long year and I feel I need to update just a few things.

Mom,
You are still the strongest woman I know. How you get through the hard times, I'll never understand. When things were happening with Grammy, I just wanted you back home because I wished I could do anything to make you feel better. And I knew there really wasn't anything I could say or do. So I wrote about her, hoping it would help. And I don't know if it did, but I tried. I know I'm not the best daughter in the world, but I love you.
The things you taught me growing up that stick are how the holidays are a big deal. How even if you were falling apart, Jess and I would never know it. And so I do the same. You expected better of me because I was smart. And now I do the same with my boy. You fought for us and tried to do the right things for us, even if people disagreed with you. And so I fight for my son. You taught me how to shop a clearance rack the right way - which helps with making the holidays a big deal :) You helped create the traditions which I work to pass down to my son. And I'm thankful for those traditions, and for the family - even if we drive each other insane. And I am still proud of you for quitting smoking - we need you around!


Dad,
I still the miss the daddy I had when I was a girl. You need to do more. Mamaw needs you more now than ever. Losing Papaw has made me wish that we could be closer but you need to get your life together. Do you think we all want to go through this again with you? You have children who still need you, even if we're spread far apart now. We're mostly adults (or getting closer), but we still want our dad around. You have all these grandchildren who deserve to know you. Please stop wasting your life.
I have great memories of you. And then I see you now and wonder where it all went. You had potential to be better and you decided to let life beat you down. Stop letting it. Get the surgery. I've already lost the father figure in my life, I'm not ready to actually lose my actual father.




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