Day 20 - Someone that broke your heart the hardest
I'm pretty sure I already wrote about this person. He doesn't deserve another letter.
So maybe I'll write to this one to another who broke my heart.
Dear You,
We were idiots together. I think the way we "met" is still one of my favorite stories. Who goes up to a stranger and convinces them to sing Happy Birthday to the bartender with them? I guess that was us, huh?
(Side note - that bar's bathroom still one of my favorites - I always looked cute in that mirror).
I remember you stood me up on our first date - almost. I even took off with some one else before you finally showed yourself. You begged me for one more chance and I gave it. Of course you had a reason. You always did.
Being with you was a lesson in growing up. I was technically an adult but I didn't know how to be one yet. You were 5 years older and still hadn't figured it out either. But I loved you. You loved me. We thought we'd try and do it together.
The night you proposed, I thought my life was complete. I could never have imagined how horribly wrong things would go afterwards. I just knew in that moment that you were the one I wanted to be with the rest of my life. Little did I know.
I ignored your problem. It wasn't a big deal. You just liked to have a drink or three when you got home. You didn't go to work drunk. You managed. But when you got home, it was a different story.
I'm not blameless. I was stupid and jealous and I took us for granted once we were engaged. I didn't know how to handle you when you got so drunk you didn't remember the mess you'd made in the middle of the night. Or the fights we would get into that you'd have no recollection of the next day. The times I'm pretty sure you were doing some drug or other and would vehemently deny when I would ask you what you were doing. I screwed up. You ended things, and I didn't handle that very well either. We tried to say we could be friends, but that would never happen. Too much anger and hurt between us.
Seeing you years later was a blessing. I was a mom. You were still carefree and happy with your life. I think when we said good bye that night, it was with a sense of peace that we never had when we broke up. Then you were gone. I cried for you, even though I knew I didn't really know you any longer. I just knew that the guy I fell in love with when I was 21 was not on this Earth anymore. 36 years old and you were gone. I'll be 35 in a few months and it seems surreal that I'll surpass you.
You were the one that healed my heart when Geoff and I split the first time. You proved to me that my life wasn't as over as I thought.
So maybe I'll write to this one to another who broke my heart.
Dear You,
We were idiots together. I think the way we "met" is still one of my favorite stories. Who goes up to a stranger and convinces them to sing Happy Birthday to the bartender with them? I guess that was us, huh?
(Side note - that bar's bathroom still one of my favorites - I always looked cute in that mirror).
I remember you stood me up on our first date - almost. I even took off with some one else before you finally showed yourself. You begged me for one more chance and I gave it. Of course you had a reason. You always did.
Being with you was a lesson in growing up. I was technically an adult but I didn't know how to be one yet. You were 5 years older and still hadn't figured it out either. But I loved you. You loved me. We thought we'd try and do it together.
The night you proposed, I thought my life was complete. I could never have imagined how horribly wrong things would go afterwards. I just knew in that moment that you were the one I wanted to be with the rest of my life. Little did I know.
I ignored your problem. It wasn't a big deal. You just liked to have a drink or three when you got home. You didn't go to work drunk. You managed. But when you got home, it was a different story.
I'm not blameless. I was stupid and jealous and I took us for granted once we were engaged. I didn't know how to handle you when you got so drunk you didn't remember the mess you'd made in the middle of the night. Or the fights we would get into that you'd have no recollection of the next day. The times I'm pretty sure you were doing some drug or other and would vehemently deny when I would ask you what you were doing. I screwed up. You ended things, and I didn't handle that very well either. We tried to say we could be friends, but that would never happen. Too much anger and hurt between us.
Seeing you years later was a blessing. I was a mom. You were still carefree and happy with your life. I think when we said good bye that night, it was with a sense of peace that we never had when we broke up. Then you were gone. I cried for you, even though I knew I didn't really know you any longer. I just knew that the guy I fell in love with when I was 21 was not on this Earth anymore. 36 years old and you were gone. I'll be 35 in a few months and it seems surreal that I'll surpass you.
You were the one that healed my heart when Geoff and I split the first time. You proved to me that my life wasn't as over as I thought.
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